There is no manual for motherhood and motherhood is not a one size fits all type of deal. But there are some things many mothers including myself would have really appreciated hearing about. I asked a handful of moms what they wish someone would have warned them about before they became mothers. Below are some of their answers.

• I wish someone had told me about the isolation. Though parenthood is a beautiful thing it can be extremely lonely. I can only speak from a stay at home mom point of view and if I am honest I felt so alone for the first 3 years of motherhood. I was alone with the children 90% of the time, and I didn’t really talk to anyone. My mom called me every now and then and I called her when the loneliness felt heavy, but it wasn’t always enough. Try different ways to make friends. Maybe try and find a Facebook group for your city, go to the gym, talk to moms at the park, anything, just don’t let the isolation win. I found solace in my gym. It helped me deal with postpartum depression, it was a small break, and it was nice interacting with other adults even if it was just a smile or nod.

• I wish someone had told me it was okay to ask for help. Many of us moms, especially with our first, refuse to let anyone help us. We have this idea that doing it all on our own is what makes us great moms, but that is not the case. We need to take care of ourselves physically and mentally to be able to care for others. This means taking a moment to catch your breath, alone. So if someone is offering you help, take it. Take a break.

• That if something doesn’t quite feel right after birth, speak up. Keep telling your doctor’s about the strange feeling or pain because it can be something serious. Don’t be afraid to be your own advocate.

• Postpartum depression is real. It is not just the baby blues it is full blown depression that can last for a year and sometimes longer. Postpartum has symptoms of anxiety, mood swings, and the inability to cope. You definitely don’t feel like yourself for a while. Talk about it with anyone who you feel comfortable with a friend or maybe your doctor. Even if you’ve been told “Oh it’s just the baby blues, it’s normal.” But what if it’s not.

• Breastfeeding is hard. Some moms have amazing experiences, they never struggle, and their supply is always perfect. Others are not so lucky. There are struggles of oversupply, not having enough, and not producing any at all. It would have been nice to know these things beforehand so expectations wouldn’t be set so high. Or to help prepare for each of these scenarios. Because some moms, like me, go through all of them.

• The lack of sleep. We knew we would lose some sleep, but we really underestimated just how little sleep we would get this time. This was our third baby and the last two were a combo of a really great sleeper and what we thought was a horrible sleeper. Boy, were we wrong. Our third woke us up every hour after she turned 4 months. Then it got worse to waking up every 30 minutes for weeks at a time. Until she hit 9 months. I literally did not sleep for 5 consecutive months. I’m so glad it’s over.

What about you? What is something you wish you had been warned about? Please tell us in the comments below!